Sunday, April 1, 2012

Time To Get Your Dream On

First of all, since people refuse to stop following this ancient blog, I feel the onus of having to actually create a post for it. So, because people have things they hate to do, as in errands, I thought I'd ask you to fantasize a little with me. Let's pretend we all have pounds and pounds of money and we can afford to hire help to do those annoying, aggravating chores that we'd like to ignore but in no way can.

Now I don't care how you fantasize you obtained all this money; unless you did so illegally but that's another fantasy altogether. Just pretend you have it, okay? Don't make things difficult.

What is it you would love to hire someone to do for you on a regular basis and sexual activities are prohibited—I know you—anyway there has to be something you despise to do.

I'll start.  I loathe and detest grocery shopping. Oddly, I adore cooking. In fact I love cooking for large amounts of people as well as myself and one other. But if I see one more broccoli floret I'll scream. I've been banned from more than a few stores for doing just that. Well, okay I did rant and rave about the horrible inedible produce loudly to anyone near enough to hear and possibly be as disgusted as me.

I don't mind cooking, cleaning, laundry—the whole housewifey thing—at all. I love it at times. But that grocery shopping drudgery I'd give up in a nanosecond. I fantasize (all the time mind you) that I write out a list or lists for breakfasts, lunches, dinners (and hopefully dinner parties) and hand them off to an "assistant" who can both size up an onion and be back in under four hours. Hey, I expect a lot of competence and discernment at the cash register or preferably before.

Okay I've confessed. What about you? What is that one thing you'd love to make someone else do for you? Don't be shy. There's gotta be something—taking out the garbage? Washing the car? Cleaning the windows (I actually enjoy that too), what is it?

If you're going to follow The Egypsy, you'd better be prepared to participate. I don't do this for fun. I do it because you won't leave me alone.

Get your damned dream on and get with the program!

The Egypsy Has Spoken